Helping Children Cope with Disaster - One Year Later

This article appears here with the permission of the National Association for the Education of Young Children.

The anniversary of the terrible events of September 11 presents new challenges for families and others who care for young children. Even as we struggle with our own feelings about the attacks, we must protect young children from the consequences of viewing the renewed coverage.

Young children may not understand the adult concept of "anniversary." Their concept of time is very "now," and for many young children, seeing images of September 11 on television will bring back all the fear and confusion they experienced one year ago. Some children may perceive the images as an entirely new attack, and be even more frightened as a result.

The most important step that families and other adults can take to protect children is to make sure they don't view the media coverage of the anniversary. If young children are exposed to repeated images of the disaster inadvertently, or if they witness the renewed grief of adults, we must be there to provide comfort, reassurance and stability.

Helping children deal with their reactions to anniversary coverage of September 11 may be difficult. The following strategies were suggested by NAEYC immediately following the attacks. As the anniversary approaches, using or adapting these strategies can help parents and other adults give children the emotional support they need, and show them that we are there to take care of them and keep them safe.

Give reassurance and physical comfort.

Physically holding children brings comfort and a sense of security. Children need extra hugs, smiles and hand-holding. Reassure them that they are safe and that there is someone there to take care of them. Hearing a family member or a teacher say, "I will take care of you," makes children feel safe. Young children have great faith in the powers of adults, and are responsive to adult reassurances. Model and demonstrate coping skills, because children will imitate adults in reacting to the situation.

Welcome children's talking about the disaster.

Children regain a sense of control by talking about things that bother them, and talking with a supportive adult can help them clarify their feelings. At the same time, children should not be pressured to talk; they may need time to try to make sense of their memories and the adult events related to the anniversary. To help children feel comfortable, parents and other adults can share their own feelings of sadness and anxiety, but they should always do so in a calm, reassuring way that explains how they coped. What children need most is to feel that the situation is under control.

Focus on experiences that help children release tension.

• Give children more time for relaxing, therapeutic experiences like playing with sand, water, clay and playdough, or baking bread and making cookies.
• Provide plenty of time and opportunity for children to work out their concerns and feelings through dramatic play. If children seem to need to revisit their memories, create props that children can use to pretend they are firefighters, doctors, rescue workers or other helpers. In dramatic play, children can pretend that they are big and strong to gain control over their trauma and to overcome feelings of helplessness.
• Spend more time in settings that give children opportunities for physical activity and that provide an emotional release.

Model peaceful resolution to conflict.

Peaceful resolution to conflict is one way to give children a stronger sense of power and control, especially critical in the wake of a disaster, which leaves them feeling powerless. Because children who have experienced the emotional trauma and violence of disaster often behave aggressively, they need to see, discuss and learn alternatives to using violence to solve problems.

Maintain your perspective.

Especially when remembering a traumatic experience like this, adults must help children avoid making inappropriate assumptions and using labels about groups of people based on their race, ethnicity, religious background or national origin.

Watch for changes in behavior.

Mental health professionals suggest that, children, like adults, may exhibit symptoms of stress following a disaster. It is unlikely that the anniversary of September 11 will cause these symptoms, except for children who have directly experienced loss. For preschoolers, such symptoms may include thumbsucking, bedwetting, clinging, changes in sleep or eating patterns, and isolation from other children. Older children may be irritable or aggressive and display poor concentration, among other changes in their behavior. Experts also suggest that it is natural for children to display behavioral changes as they emotionally and cognitively process their anxiety and fear.